Does your event need spicing up? Bored of pulling funny faces in photo booths? Tired of drinking vodka shots off of the genitals of ice sculptures? Then you need Themisfortuneteller. As the world's foremost practitioner of Dark Therapy, I will deliver the sweet sting of truth to you and your guests, whatever the event. Just give me a few minutes and, after consulting my crystal ball, I'll pen a personalised dark prophecy and gift it to your guest, ready to frame. Available for birthdays, weddings, children's parties, end-of-days celebrations, and funerals. Optimists tend to struggle (but don't they always). For examples of misfortunes, see the Misfortunetellings option on the sidebar, and get in touch if you'd like your guests to remember your event.